Temptation

I wish I'd never let him in
The man in red
The Chief of Sin!

"Hi Tommy, how's it going?
Is your wife and kids at home?"
"What do you want of me?
Leave me alone, let me be!"

He winked and nodded
Then suddenly laughed
As he gripped the steering wheel
And jerked it right.

He could of killed me dead of fright.

"Now listen, Tommy
Let's be real
I'm here to test you
How bout' a deal?"

"No way," I said.
"I'm not like you
You're mud and bones
and bluefish glue
I hate you, devil, yes i do!"

Unperturbed, the devil yawned.
"Oh Tommy, we've had our fun
But now you'd best obey...
Or your wife and kids are going to pay."

What do you want?"

"Simply drive across the street to the bank.
Walk in and ask the teller to give you one million dollars."

"I don't want a million dollars," I replied.

"Oh, really?"

"Nope. Try again."

"Well, how about a trip to Bermuda? All you have to do is kill your neighbor's dog."

"Uhh, no, how stupid. Isn't there something better than that? I thought
you were the 'Master of Temptation?'

"Listen to me, you scoundrel, I can..." he began.

"You know what? My kid's have baseball tonight and my dinner is getting cold, so..."

"Well, can we do lunch maybe?"

"What? Seriously? And you are supposed to be frightening why?"

"I can offer you the Nile or Cleveland, Ohio or..."

"Get out of my car, OK? Try the Wendy's if you're hungry, pal."

"Hey, wait, we can share stories about camping!!!"