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Is deep space silent?
Amid the revolving spheres.
In perpetual night.

Or does God whisper?
Echoing across light-years vast.
Filling the void with song.
This poem was written for the :iconprojectdfc: December Form Challenge 2012 :[link]


Featured here: [link] by :iconsilverinkblot:

Featured here: [link] by :icondailylitdeviations:

:bulletgreen: :bulletblack: :bulletgreen: :bulletblack: :bulletgreen:

This style is the featured form for December 9th of the DFC Challenge. Here is a description of the form:

    The Sedoka is a Japanese form. It centres around the
    idea of Questions and Answers. The syllabic count is
    that of haiku (5,7,5) and there are 6 lines, 3 in each
    stanza. The content can be of any theme but one
    must question or mention something in the first, and
    then either contradict or answer in the second. It's all
    about leaving you guessing and making people think.




All Rights Reserved. 2012.
Comments Appreciated!
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:iconboias:
Boias Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013

Really great !


"Painting is silent poetry and poetry is painting that speaks"

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:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you very much!

 

Well said. I never thought of it that way. :)

Reply
:iconboias:
Boias Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2013

It was a quote by  Plutarch (Greek philosopher) . I like the similarities in both arts .

Here is another nice one .

"Poems are paintings you don't have time to do. Paintings are poems you don't have colors for".

You got a really good writing  skills ! Thank you  my friend ! Cheers !

Reply
:iconbrietta-a-m-f:
brietta-a-m-f Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. I agree with your assessment that this is the best. I'm impressed! Really impressed!

Interestingly, I have heard that, even though it is a vacuum, there is a constant noise in space. And it has characteristics similar to music. I can't remember where I read that, it was one of the many obscure articles which my dad showed when I was little, but remembering it adds another dimension to your poem.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you! Thank you! :D I'm dreadfully sorry that I failed to respond in a timely manner.

 

It seems I've heard of that phenomenon also. I want to say that it was represented more as...static-like sounds, like a 'white noise.'

 

This piece was a classic example of: "Wow...that came together really easy."

 

Cause I tell you what, sometimes it just. doesn't. flow. :shrug: ;)

Reply
:iconpuppypal1000:
PuppyPal1000 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It is amazing, certainly worth the DLD!:heart:
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very kind! :D Thanks Nicole!
Reply
:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the DLD, this piece is fantastic :heart:!
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!! :D I'm so glad you like it.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:wow: Sweet!!! Thank you very much! :D
Reply
:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh gosh, that last stanza :heart: Lovely.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece here: [link] :)
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm honored. I really appreciate the support!! :hug:
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course :D
Reply
:iconrileysun20:
rileysun20 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
Oh I really like this! I'd never heard of Sedoka..see, you made me learn something. :)

Very good work. IMO, the shorter a piece has to be, the more difficult it is, because you have to make every word count. You obviously have a good grip on that, because I clearly "saw" the planets suspended in space. I keep looking back at the poem, wondering how you put so much emotion in so few words.

Anyway, I think you should try more of these. :D
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so happy you like it! :) Glad to oblige.

Yes. It is harder, as I discovered. LoL. But that being said, it was a satisfying experience. And you described exactly what I was aiming for, by "seeing" the planets. I'm glad it was effective.

Aww, thank you, Riley. :D You know I appreciate your support very much.
Reply
:iconlabruyere:
LaBruyere Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
I just realized--this reminds me greatly of C.S. Lewis. Especially his work, "Perelandra." Great question, great answer.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I appreciate such a wonderful compliment, and from such a skilled poet as yourself.

My late maternal grandmother had that book, but I never read it. My curiosity is piqued; I need to check it out.
Reply
:iconlabruyere:
LaBruyere Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
Oh my word. I love it.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much!
Reply
:iconrationalist-v-artist:
Rationalist-v-Artist Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Your choice of form for the theme of deep space and God marry beautifully; the simplicity of the structure reflects the void of space, and your words seemed to echo across that expanse... there's just so much to think about!

And I say about the simplicity of the structure- that's not to underestimate how complex it is to pack so much metaphor and meaning into such a short poem. Very well written indeed!
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! I appreciate that you took the time to leave such an encouraging comment, as well as to add it to your collection.

I've been reading articles lately about the cosmos in National Geographic online, and to try and comprehend such vast distances and staggering temperatures, is just a fascinating exercise.

And the only thing that can dominate a system so colossal...is the One Who created it. In those lonely aisles across the Universe, we behold in our mind's eye the astounding engineering upon which the stars and planets operate.

Yet even as majestic as all that is, God's voice supersedes it:

"The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”

~Zephaniah 3:17 NIV
Reply
:iconrationalist-v-artist:
Rationalist-v-Artist Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Indeed! It's incredibly humbling and uplifting and terrifying and thrilling all at once. I get bogged down in so many theories and arguments into the existence and non existence of God that I forget just where I live, what space I occupy in the cosmos and what I believe in my own mind. Your words brought me back to my own body, in this little space of the universe.
Reply
:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you.
I'm glad He could use my writing to give you peace. :)
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