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Literature Text
Long years from now
on a cold wintry eve
when the shadows reside in corners
like suits of armor
blackened with great age
not a threat but a comfort
We shall sit and ponder the stars
revolving in silent pirouettes
As the flames flicker
I'll open a book of verse
letting my mind drift on a parchment sea
through dark woods
native territories of the soul
perchance to find wonderful beasts
who'll invite me to sup with them
Around a mesquite table
we'll gather
five hundred strong
to feast in the Jousting Hall
with the King and his court
regaling each other with dark legends
of honor, adventure and youth...
All Rights Reserved. 2012.
Comments welcome
Comments welcome
© 2012 - 2024 Blacksand459
Comments8
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A nice piece of poetry here. It has a very old, rocker-on-the-porch feel which I enjoyed. I liked how warm and inviting it was.
I must say I preferred the later half to the former only because it seemed to have more of a connection between stanzas so
a better flow.
I would suggest removing "once" from that second line as "once" and "wont" are
quite similar phonetically; it sounds repetitive so it affects flow.
I'm a little confused by the mention of "divers" in the second stanza. Is there a second meaning or symbolism there that perhaps
I'm missing? In all honesty, I would remove that stanza. It sounded nice but felt out of place save for the first two lines.
These of course are my opinions so as far as the suggestions go you are welcome to disagree
and disregard whatever you like.
Other than those two places, I think this is a solid read!
--#FeedbackFriends
I must say I preferred the later half to the former only because it seemed to have more of a connection between stanzas so
a better flow.
I would suggest removing "once" from that second line as "once" and "wont" are
quite similar phonetically; it sounds repetitive so it affects flow.
I'm a little confused by the mention of "divers" in the second stanza. Is there a second meaning or symbolism there that perhaps
I'm missing? In all honesty, I would remove that stanza. It sounded nice but felt out of place save for the first two lines.
These of course are my opinions so as far as the suggestions go you are welcome to disagree
and disregard whatever you like.
Other than those two places, I think this is a solid read!
--#FeedbackFriends